Sungmin watches as Siwon slips away from them for the third time in ten minutes. He sees the way Siwon’s eyes are gazing out at the strangely abandoned street, unfocused and seeing something that no one else can. It has been raining yet again and they’re all worried about the possible danger it can bring but Sungmin knows there is more than that on Siwon’s mind.
Leeteuk notices the two of them lagging behind and opens his mouth but Sungmin quickly shakes his head. With a worried glance and a short nod, Leeteuk continues walking ahead with the rest of the group. Sungmin steps up beside Siwon, wishing for a brief instant that he were taller. He cannot put a supportive arm around Siwon’s shoulders without being awkward so he settles for slipping an arm around Siwon’s waist. Sungmin feels Siwon jolt back to reality beside him as he rests his head on Siwon’s shoulder.
“It’s raining again,” Sungmin says simply. He’s not going to ask Siwon what’s wrong because if he has to ask then Siwon isn’t going to tell him anyway.
There is a pause. “It is.”
Siwon sounds surprised, as if he’s been so wrapped up in himself that he didn’t even notice. Curling his fingers on Siwon’s hip, Sungmin doesn’t respond.
“I… I miss—” is all he can get out before choking back a soft gasp. Sungmin bites his lip as tears build behind his closed eyelids. Seeing Siwon like this… It’s not easy for any of them. Siwon has always been their rock, smiling and offering silent support to anyone who needs it.
Sungmin turns into Siwon’s chest, wrapping both arms securely around his torso. It may seem that Siwon is enveloping and protecting Sungmin but Siwon is sagging against him with his face buried in Sungmin’s hair. Sungmin can feel the trickle of tears through his hair onto his scalp and knows that Siwon must feel the front of his shirt dampening with his own tears.
“I’m sorry,” Siwon whispers into his hair and Sungmin barely holds in a sob and he wants to scream because what does Siwon need to apologize for. All he has ever done is treat the world with a kind smile and fate repays him this way.
Sungmin pulls away after a few moments and takes Siwon’s hand, placing it over his heart. “She’s still with you.”
“I know,” Siwon squeezes his hand gently.
And though he doesn’t say another word, Sungmin senses the gratitude in Siwon’s eyes and the way he continues to hold Sungmin’s hand to his heart as they both stand on the sidewalk, just breathing.
- Current Mood: drained